Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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