Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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