So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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