shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I need moral support for this bender
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
