I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
