You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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