he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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