I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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