Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
