they need to just BURY HIM!
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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