I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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