So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You left your phone here
Wait...
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