I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
