I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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