Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
