The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
