I'm really into asian looking animals
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
