you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize