What did we do last night that was yellow?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
