...so i touched it.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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