Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize