It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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