There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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