just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
