I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
