i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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