Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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