why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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