Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
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