I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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