How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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