I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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