Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
