...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
