fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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