She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
