that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
