Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
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ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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