i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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