i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
