You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
