Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize