Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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