She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
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we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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