Texts From Last Night

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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I can tuck mytits in my pants

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  (573): I can tuck mytits in my pants http://tfl.nu/5g26
  Replies (27) Good night (591) Bad night (2745)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.

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  (512): Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks. http://tfl.nu/o3m2
  Replies (13) Good night (662) Bad night (3468)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?

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  (202): like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"? http://tfl.nu/e2lv
  Replies (36) Good night (595) Bad night (3109)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket

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  (978): he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket http://tfl.nu/jdxn
  Replies (42) Good night (757) Bad night (4862)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.

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  (360): afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep. http://tfl.nu/xylt
  Replies (52) Good night (1706) Bad night (8234)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.

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  (717): Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall. http://tfl.nu/weml
  Replies (24) Good night (6064) Bad night (708)
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  (353): View more from

  Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.

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  (353): Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila. http://tfl.nu/uacf
  Replies (10) Good night (4305) Bad night (932)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!

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  (502): Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it! http://tfl.nu/c7ri
  Replies (7) Good night (3464) Bad night (1068)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50

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  (412): don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50 http://tfl.nu/kftz
  Replies (6) Good night (2838) Bad night (892)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.

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  (812): I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand. http://tfl.nu/31me
  Replies (6) Good night (1729) Bad night (701)
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  (760): View more from California

  I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.

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  (760): I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard. http://tfl.nu/86r6
  Replies (19) Good night (1569) Bad night (673)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."

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  (256): I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now." http://tfl.nu/g734
  Replies (6) Good night (1790) Bad night (570)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.

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  (256): I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan. http://tfl.nu/no44
  Replies (8) Good night (995) Bad night (384)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  The family next to you was not pleased

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  (919): I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box. (1-919): The family next to you was not pleased http://tfl.nu/vcup
  Replies (8) Good night (456) Bad night (674)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house

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  (903): I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house http://tfl.nu/dgh7
  Replies (7) Good night (801) Bad night (311)

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