HIV tests are more positive than that guy
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
This is my gift to your gina
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.