Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (434): So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970 http://tfl.nu/x6yp
  Replies (13) Good night (695) Bad night (3145)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD. http://tfl.nu/8lo9
  Replies (28) Good night (674) Bad night (5468)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment http://tfl.nu/wssq
  Replies (82) Good night (1329) Bad night (5608)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  we need to drink 2009 down the drain

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): we need to drink 2009 down the drain http://tfl.nu/q0df
  Replies (16) Good night (5088) Bad night (724)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet http://tfl.nu/rdc9
  Replies (17) Good night (979) Bad night (2729)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard. http://tfl.nu/0z3w
  Replies (15) Good night (4590) Bad night (932)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."

  (1-201): View more from New Jersey

  youre welcome

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.." (1-201): youre welcome http://tfl.nu/sjha
  Replies (10) Good night (5859) Bad night (1166)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist. http://tfl.nu/83tl
  Replies (7) Good night (2835) Bad night (740)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms. http://tfl.nu/i073
  Replies (3) Good night (1658) Bad night (860)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!" http://tfl.nu/wn2w
  Replies (9) Good night (1781) Bad night (837)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party. http://tfl.nu/bbcz
  Replies (11) Good night (1546) Bad night (659)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.

  (309): View more from Illinois

  Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit. (309): Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed? http://tfl.nu/sacc
  Replies (3) Good night (981) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma. http://tfl.nu/kebr
  Replies (0) Good night (1095) Bad night (355)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried http://tfl.nu/4pug
  Replies (3) Good night (1181) Bad night (407)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house http://tfl.nu/ap4l
  Replies (2) Good night (858) Bad night (343)

Randomize