I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
