party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
