Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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