the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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