Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
