If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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