I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize