i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I love you.
Bad choice
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