I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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