if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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