i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
