For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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