Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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