after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
