just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
