You can't special order awesome
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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